Cope with Frustrations & Resentments

We all have gone through or being going through some frustrations or resentments. How do we cope up from these pessimistic and negative thoughts and feelings or emotions to get our life back on track i.e. in search of true happiness.

Some negativities keep a long lasting impression on our mind and heart. These keep on crawling back each time we go through a feeling of displeasure due to something or someone. These experiences keep on coming quite frequently in life in form of a argument with someone, or not able to get through work pressures, or for that matter anything that does not happen as per our will or wishes. We very reasonably give this a name of bad luck or a bad day or unlucky day and escape temporarily. This is just a way of expressing ourselves to get out of the situation and move on. And fair enough we do get out of the situation for a short while but the brain remembers these bad memories and unfortunately many a time stores them and rebounds them the other time we come across a same situation.

This reminds me of a story that I read on a kids website, where I was searching for moral stories to narrate to my child. After reading it, the first thought that triggered my mind was, we all look out for solutions to our problems in the outside world, but we always forget that the real solution lies within us. So the story goes this way, a sage used to stay in a village near a forest and a hill. He wanted to achieve eternal peace and hence would sit down under a tree for his ritual meditations. But as a village was near by, there would be passers by who would stop and ask him questions or directions or food etc. This caused hindrance in his penance and hence he used to get very frustrated and angry. He thought if I keep on staying here I would never be able to achieve my goal and hence its utmost important to leave this village. So he left and found a hill past the forest. Now he used to stay at the hill top undisturbed. So he was very happy. But each day he used to fill his pail with water from the lake situated at the bottom of the hill. He had to climb up all the way with water and store it for the day. Once as he filled the pail with water and reached half way, the pail slipped and fell down. He went back to the lake and filled the pail again. This time as he was about to reach the hill top near his hut, he stumbled upon a stone and the pail fell to the ground disbursing the water all over. This time he got really frustrated. As he was going down back to the lake he realized that his frustration and anger was a part of his nature and not due to any external source. Earlier he thought that the cause of his anger and resentments was the villagers but now as he was all alone, he still got frustrated a mere coincidence of spilling water. This gave him the insight, that it is I who has to change. The place and any external source does not matter. They are not the driving force for my happiness or sadness or frustrations, its all within me and I have to conquer these feelings on my own. He returned back to the village and never again got angry or frustrated. This story relates so closely to all of us who feel that external factors cause us pain or anguish. Its important for us to see within us and bring about a change in ourselves.

The best practice is trying to reach to a steadiness and mindfulness state. Inner peace is the true solution to all worldly problems. It is nothing but being able to stay stable in any situation good or bad, any feeling happy or sad, joy or sorrow. Stability and balance in your emotions and thoughts is inner peace. We all can start of to try and achieve even a little of this feeling of inner peace by meditating. The calmness is brought by meditation which in turn helps you to control the emotions and thoughts of the mind. Mind is very deceptive, it tries to send the thoughts that will take to negativity first rather than positivity. Hence, if you observe we tend to have negative emotions or thoughts for any situation foremost. Fear of losing, fear of separation, fear of guilt all these are emotions generated by our mind to keep us away from the positivity's. Only those who have a strong mind and willpower can overcome their thoughts and take control over their mind. They are the ones who direct their mind to think the way they desire and not vice versa.

Another essential element is music. Music is binder of mind and soul. It helps create that steadiness, calming effect and peace of mind. Staying in a calm state helps mind to concentrate more and give better outputs. It lets us forget our past failures and guilts or grudges and generates a new hope for a better future. It takes mind to bring out its best of ideas and move forward. It helps balance the mind and bring out the best in ourselves.

Thirdly, the most important and vital component of frustrations and resentments is "not expecting". Expectations are the ones which generate all negative emotions when not completed or met with. The lesser the expectations from others or ourselves the lesser problems and more satisfaction. When someone or something does not go as per our expectations, the thoughts tend to go the wrong ways and fear, jealously, greed, hate all crawl in and together make our minds blocked by bleakness. For our own peace and serenity, its paramount to keep calm and be mindful of our thoughts and actions.

Conclusion: Let us control our emotions by changing ourselves first, as we change the world around us will naturally change.

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